The Past, the Present, and the Future
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7/4/20263 min read
The Past, the Present, and the Future
The other day I was at the hairdresser.
I go there once a month. Same place, same routine. But this time something felt different.
One of the hairdressers, I’ll call her Meghan was there. Straight away I could tell she wasn’t herself. Tired. Quiet. Not the same energy she usually has.
We got talking.
At first it was just small talk, but then she opened up.
She told me what she had been going through over the past year, things I never would’ve guessed in a million years just by looking at her.
After listening to Meghan, I paused for a moment. I wanted to say something that might genuinely help, but I didn’t want to offer empty words or clichés.
Then I remembered a lesson that my martial arts instructor and mentor has shared with me countless times over the years. It is a simple lesson, yet one that has profoundly shaped the way I deal with life’s challenges.
I explained to her that our minds generally live in one of three places: the past, the future, or the present.
The Past
The past is something we can never change. No matter how much we wish we could relive a moment, undo a mistake, or reverse a tragedy, it remains beyond our reach.
When we become trapped in the past, we often replay painful memories over and over again. We ask ourselves endless “what if” questions. We blame ourselves, blame others, and revisit conversations that can never be rewritten.
Over time, this constant focus on what has already happened can weigh heavily on both our emotional and physical wellbeing. It can drain our motivation, rob us of hope, make it difficult to see opportunities, and even take away our enjoyment of the things we once loved.
The world begins to lose its colour.
Some people gradually withdraw from family and friends, becoming increasingly isolated. Every new day feels like another reminder of yesterday’s pain. For some, those feelings can become so overwhelming that they begin to wonder whether life is worth living.
The past is a wonderful teacher, but it is a terrible place to build a home.
The Future
Then there is the future.
Many of us spend enormous amounts of time worrying about things that have not yet happened—and, in many cases, never will.
“What if I fail?”
“What if things get worse?”
“What if I never recover?”
Living too far into the future often creates uncertainty, fear and anxiety. Our minds begin imagining countless negative possibilities, and before long we are reacting emotionally to events that don’t even exist.
The more we try to control every possible outcome, the more powerless we often feel.
Instead of enjoying today, we become prisoners of tomorrow.
The Present
That leaves us with the present.
The present is where life actually happens.
The past provides us with lessons, not chains. We acknowledge what happened, accept that it cannot be changed, and take whatever wisdom we can from the experience.
The future gives us direction. It allows us to set goals, make plans and prepare for tomorrow—but without becoming consumed by worry.
Our actions today shape our tomorrow.
Every decision we make in the present has the potential to influence our future.
I suggested that whenever she felt overwhelmed, she should gently bring herself back to the present moment. Slow her breathing. Take a deep breath in through the nose, hold it briefly, and breathe out slowly. Repeat several times until her mind begins to settle.
Rather than allowing her thoughts to race ahead or drift backwards, I encouraged her to notice the small things around her. Appreciate the people who genuinely care for her. Find something good in each day, no matter how small. Enjoy her morning coffee. Feel the warmth of the sun. Listen to the birds. Be fully present in each moment from the time she wakes until the time she goes to bed.
A Samurai’s Mind
To explain what I meant, I used an example from the Samurai.
Imagine a Samurai standing in fifteenth-century feudal Japan, moments before a duel.
Before him stands another highly skilled warrior. Each holds a razor-sharp sword capable of ending the fight—and a life—in a single instant.
If the Samurai allows his mind to wander into the past, thinking about previous mistakes or defeats, his concentration is broken.
If he projects himself into the future, worrying about whether he will survive or what might happen to his family, his focus is lost.
Either distraction could cost him his life.
Only the present matters.
Everything he has experienced—every victory, every defeat, every lesson learned throughout his life—has prepared him for this single moment.
His past has made him wiser, but he does not live there.
His future depends entirely on what he does now.
His awareness, discipline and calmness in the present determine the outcome.
Perhaps there is a lesson in that for all of us.
We cannot rewrite yesterday.
We cannot control tomorrow.
But we can choose how we live today.